by Manjit Handa, PhD
Most of our lives we spend talking, trying to prove and define ourselves. Not to ourselves but to the world, because we want others to look at us in a certain way. Constantly talkative, in motion, slipping in and out of the social roles, depending on the situations and demands befitting our welfare.
If only all the talking could justify one’s true self! Add to it the noise of traffic, background music, TV channels and innumerable sound producing gadgets. So much noise in the world! And what a clamorous place to subsist! While some of you might agree, most would defend on the need for sound. Specifically most would vouch for the need for music.
Accustomed to the din, we would rather “get on” to something rather than confronting silence. Then we become prone to activization. Derisive as it may sound, if we cannot shake hands with silence, it is because we are afraid. Frightened of being alone; more so, having a real meeting with our own self. And we keep shirking and postponing this date. Betraying, deserting. Whom??
Contrary to a general belief, even the most ornate of language fails in proximity of silence. The most important and overwhelming moments of life are devoid of words. Be it Love, joy, grief, shocker, rage or hope. Because that is when we actually meet ourselves. Words fail, rather there is a moment of transcendence when there remains no need whatsoever. How blissful must the silence be then? Ghalib rightly says, speaking of love:
nuktaacheen hai gham-e-dil usko sunaaye na bane
kya bane baat jahaaN baat banaaye na bane
(My grief-stricken heart is too critical, incapable of speaking out to her, when need be
How can things move further, where there is a loss of words?)
No matter how candid and truthful we are in our relations with others, the social self simply implies a front, by implication an element of self-deception. Always a cover, even if it is to a small degree. It is a fact. And those seeking true peace need to come out of this façade of self-reassurance. And the first step to that would be, learning to live with ourselves in our own personal loneliness and silence.
It is not to say that all contact with the outside world should be blocked, but just unblock the silent messages coming from within. Believe me, it is worth it; overwhelming.
Silently yours,
Manjit
